You, dear reader, must have followed a hunch.

Those younger than me may not remember a time when “the internet” was a totally new thing. A time loo-oong before A.I. wanted to chat with you, or people printed in 3D. Before streaming video was available, let alone done live. When some people (nerds, they called us) just had dumb, lil-ol-websites all about… well… nothing really. Just some thoughts. Back then, websites could actually be stumbled upon by total strangers. Like you.

Well those days are over.

No seriously, how on earth did you get here?! I do not advertise and am not on social media. Mostly because I am so bad at it, and slightly because I am very lazy. (Feels like too much work. “You mean I have to login and scroll everyday!?!”) As a point, I am bad at actual socializing too, but feel in person I come off more as awkward but trying-to-make-an-effort, at least. On social media I just come off as an asshole.

I could fix this, but I do not have a skilled social media team boosting my results in Google, or helping me with posts or branding.

Point is, you must have had the thought: “I wonder if Steve Smells is a website?” and typed it in.

And you were right. It is. A very old website neglected maintained by yours truly. Most people call me Steve.

And I smell.

You were right about this site, and you were right about me. Ya happy?

Perhaps you cheated. Maybe you knew me once, and therefore have insider information. You said to yourself “what ever happened to Steve Scholtz? That intense, often creepy, little Calgarian with the glandular problem? The one who never shut up, and wanted to be a comedian?” Well then you are also correct. You did in fact, know a guy named Steve Scholtz who:

A. Never made it as a comedian, but…

B. Is still alive.

Either way you know my shameful truth. Tell no one what you found here.